Spotlight
Spotlight | Senior Friendship Centers : Stepping Into the Fullness of Life
By Christy Pessemier | August 2023
In 1972, when Brother William Geneen was visiting Sarasota, he found something that didn’t sit well with him. In fact, it bothered him so much, he couldn’t stop thinking about it on his plane ride back home.
Geneen was a Holy Cross brother, and a headmaster at Gilmour Academy in Gates Mills, Ohio, a private boys’ school operated by the Brothers of the Holy Cross Order. He was in Sarasota on a recruiting trip for students, and while here, he met many retirees.
Geneen asked them how they were enjoying retirement and they all shared very similar stories. They had moved here to retire, but after a serious illness or losing their spouse, they felt lonely and isolated.
Geneen wrote the words “lonely” and “isolated” on a notepad and circled them as he was on his journey back home. His awareness that older people were struggling with a heavy burden made him determined to do something about it.
He went to the head of his order, got permission to move forward with his plan, loaded a typewriter, and drove back to Sarasota in his station wagon with his ideas to stop loneliness in seniors and give them purpose again.
Geneen’s idea was to provide a central gathering place where seniors could enjoy social connections, experience brain stimulating activities, get healthy meals and nutrition, and take part in exercise classes and fun entertainment events.
The response from the senior community in Sarasota was overwhelmingly positive. At their first gathering, before the center was even formed, about 450 people showed up. This both surprised and confirmed to Geneen how many of the elderly in the community were starved for connection and friendship.
With just $79 in available funds, Geneen joined forces with Sarasota retiree Molleen Pust, who was instrumental in the success of the organization, and became its co-founder and first volunteer. A Board of Governors was formed, and in 1973, the first Senior Friendship Center opened in Sarasota.
Because Geneen envisioned more than one senior center, he insisted that an “s” be put on the end of the name, making the organization’s official name Senior Friendship Centers.
Though he’s no longer with us, Erin McLeod, President and CEO of Senior Friendship Centers, knew Brother Geneen well and remembers him fondly. She worked with him when she started at the Senior Friendship Centers in 2004 and stayed in contact with him until he passed away in 2011.
“He was a very quiet person. He loved building and planning—he probably loved Monopoly,” she remembers, holding up a picture of him. “I asked him once what his secret sauce was, and he said every day, he gave his job away. If someone offered to make the coffee one day, he asked them if they could do it every day at 9 a.m. That’s how he recruited volunteers. He coined the motto for our organization: People helping People.”
After taking on the torch from Bob Carter, the CEO that preceded her, McLeod says she learns something new every day. As she talks, there’s a sparkle in her eye and a beaming, natural smile. Her joy and energy are contagious, and she shares a special connection with the many members that come in and out the door of Senior Friendship Centers each day.
“We’ve had four-star generals here, a woman with both a medical degree and a law degree and she practiced both, and a man who was in the Enola Gay B-29 bomber plane in World War II,” McLeod said. “And there are multi-millionaires sitting across the table from borderline homeless seniors. No one cares what your background is, they just enjoy each other’s company.”
The NIH (National Institutes of Health) reported in 2019 that 28 percent of older adults live alone, and it’s even more today as the 55 and older population increases with each year. That equates to about 13.8 million seniors, many of whom struggle with loneliness after the death of a spouse or partner. Limited mobility, no access to transportation, and separation from family often exacerbate the situation.
Social isolation and loneliness are also strong contributors to declining health, with recent data from the National Library of Medicine showing decreased cognitive function in older adults after four years of social isolation and prolonged feelings of loneliness. In addition, a leading researcher recently found that loneliness can be deadly, raising the potential risk of mortality by 50 percent.
Added to this alarming data is the general attitude toward aging adults in the United States. McLeod says ageism is one of the “isms” that’s often allowed and ignored. She is working to change that.
“We live in a culture that is so youth-obsessed,” McLeod said. “And we’re constantly being told that if we aren’t young, we don’t matter. That’s the total opposite of what we preach around here. You step into the fullness of life as you age, and you become more yourself.”
She’s thankful the Senior Friendship Centers are a voice for the often-discarded aging community.
“Instead of letting a society tell us that we don’t matter, we actually step up and say ‘Oh, excuse me, but we actually believe that seniors do matter.’”
Today, with 450 active volunteers, the Senior Friendship Centers serves approximately 10,000 seniors in four counties of Southwest Florida: Sarasota, Charlotte, DeSoto, and Lee. This includes programs, services, outreach, and lifelong learning. In addition, meals are delivered to homes through Friendship at Home, a program McLeod calls a crisis intervention program that matches volunteers to someone who’s isolated or homebound. Many are also struggling financially, and this program helps with food costs by providing tasty and nutritious meals for free.
Seniors with available transportation who are struggling with financial strain can also come to the Senior Friendship Center and get nourishing meals at no cost.
The Senior Friendship Centers Adult Day programs are also a huge benefit to family members who are caregivers for Alzheimer’s and dementia patients, or anyone struggling with the frailties of aging. They provide a welcome break during the day and the peace of mind of knowing Mom, Dad, or a loved one is getting the care they need.
McLeod gets positive feedback from members on a regular basis. Many tell her they don’t know how they managed before they started coming to Senior Friendship Centers. She says volunteering is often the first step to introduce them to the centers, and then over time they become members.
“As many other people who have lived in Sarasota for many years, I knew this senior center existed, but did not know how valuable it is to so many people in our community,” said volunteer Howard Scheckner.
According to Scheckner, “I thought the older people who came here just wanted to pass some time away from home or give a family member a break from supporting their needs. Wow was I wrong. I feel that the warm, welcoming, and optimistic energy Erin McLeod projected in that first contact was exactly what I find exists every minute of the day at the center. You immediately feel this welcoming energy when you enter through the front door.”
Cathy Lenglois is a volunteer who became a staff member. She and her husband are both active retired seniors and Sarasota residents.
“This organization is one of the best-kept secrets in Sarasota County. What I like most is there is something for everyone here from playing cards to lunch, to language classes and social engaging activities like dancing and pickleball.”
Ed, a Senior Friendship Centers member, shares how the centers have helped him.
“When my wife passed away, I didn’t do anything. I hated the world,” he said. “After joining Senior Friendship Centers, my health got ten times better. I come five days a week and the people here helped me recover from my double knee surgery.”
McLeod says some of the most popular programs are pickleball, as well as live music with dancing. Pet therapy is also incorporated into their programs. A recent scene of a well-attended balance class included many happy faces and a giant live fluffy white llama on the floor, right in the middle of it all. “Yes, that’s a llama you see on the floor amongst the balance class!” McLeod remarked.
According to McLeod, many of their most active and vibrant members today had once walked in reluctantly holding the hand of an adult daughter or son.
“Within a month, the men have shaved, and women walk in with a haircut and lipstick on. They’ve got a new lease on life.”
As volunteer Howard Scheckner shared, paraphrasing a quote from Woody Allen: “99% of success is showing up.”
Membership at Senior Friendship Centers is just $125 a year, and scholarships are available for those in need. McLeod says the center is always looking for more volunteers and donors.
To learn more about Senior Friendship Centers, call 941.955.2122 or visit friendshipcenters.org.
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